Monday 23 April 2012

When nothing goes right ...

 During our life span, there are occasions when nothing goes right. Problems seem to rain in torrents. I am no exception and have been through these phases of life. It easy to get devoured by negativity in these stages. In hindsight though, these phases seem to be the most fertile periods for self improvement and effectiveness. For one, it helps hone our character as I have blogged in http://spritualitynmanagement.blogspot.in/2011/11/how-to-be-successful.html. Besides, there are other aspects too. This is when a sense of disgust and frustration is aroused, which can be positively channelized into a cathartic process.
 When things are hunky dory, we hardly pause to take stock, to the point where we might be completely off track. For e.g., if in our career, we are on a roll, with hefty hikes and a steep rise up the corporate ladder, we are most unlikely to take stock of our true aspirations, and the larger picture. In my opinion this is the reason that some of the most successful people, who seemingly have everything that it takes, are often left feeling void. On the contrary, if nothing seems to be going right, we are more likely to step back, and take stock of the situation, our current priorities, and our true purpose in life. This in my opinion, will help us connect with our true self, and soak in the joy of success as and when it happens, without feeling bereft. For outwardly success without inner contentment and satisfaction, equates to failure.
 This is not to exalt predicament, and advocate adverse situations as the only path to contentment and effectiveness. This is to raise awareness of the benefits that we can churn out of our quagmire, instead of being overwhelmed by it.
 Easier said than done? Could be. When nothing goes right, it is hard to get out of the whirlpool. But it helps reminiscing our earlier misfortunes, which have been a blessing in disguise.
 Any experiences or thoughts?

Saturday 7 April 2012

What has Self-introspection got to do with effectiveness?

 In my last article, I briefly touched upon Self introspection in the context of emotional intelligence, and that Self introspection is advocated by Hindu scriptures. This is a follow-on to that with a much broader scope. This is because self-introspection touches every aspect of personal and professional effectiveness.
 Active self introspection is the idea of investigating our own emotions, thoughts, behavior and conduct, and meditating on ways to avoid self-deprecating acts. For e.g.: If we are at loggerheads with someone, rather than carp or cavil, Hindu scriptures advises us to self introspect and realize that it is a reflection of our own shortfalls. It might be because of our own selfishness or ego that we are failing to see the other person's point of view, it might be because our own self aggrandizement that we fail to respect the other person, or it might be because we are attached to a desire / goal, that it blinds us of objectivity. If we acknowledge the fact that all of us are creation of God, and that no one is superior to other, and that it is superior in fact for humans to respect and accommodate the other being, it would be easier to break the ice.
 Another example where self-introspection could help enhance our effectiveness is, when we feel we truly deserved the much awaited fat hike / career advancement, but it is awarded to someone else. The immediate instinct is to brood over the partiality, unfairness, and loathe the superiors, peer etc. But if we accede to the the teachings of Hindu scriptures, and introspect, we might unearth hidden gems. Foremost, it will help us attribute the success of the person who obtained it, to the value that the person brings. This then paves ways for us to identify our shortcomings. It might be that the inter-personal skills needs improvement, it might be that a better business acumen is essential, it might be that there is a need to change the role / domain where our strengths shine etc.. This kind of objective evaluation of the situation lends to better decision and improves our chances of landing that prized hike / advancement, or might be even better.
 In essence, self-introspection leads to change that which is in our direct control - our own thoughts, behavior and conduct, which is what will lead to true effectiveness. We can continue blaming others, blaming our misfortune etc. , but that would not help us an ounce.

Saturday 31 March 2012

Emotional Intelligence

 Emotional Intelligence of late has gained lot of importance. Emotional intelligence as per one of the definitions is the ability to identify, assess and manage emotion of self and others. Psychology has also identified measurements of emotional intelligence. In this blog I would like to look at emotional intelligence through a spiritual lens. Hindu scriptures have also emphasized the importance of emotional intelligence needed for self-advancement.
 Core to emotional intelligence as construed by Hindu scriptures is "awareness " and "self introspection". Awareness of the fact that the soul or athma as we call it, is transient. Awareness that this life and body is just a garb. The soul transcends the garb. And hence it is dissipative to be attached to the body and the emotions attached with it. Armed with this awareness, we will be equipped to not let the emotions control the intellect. We will learn to not let emotions like love, desire, hatred, anger, jealousy control our thoughts and action. As I have time and again emphasized in my articles, attachment induces a multitude of emotions.Introspection helps us get to the crux of the trigger and address it. Hindu scriptures never talk about assessing or managing others' emotion. It is rather self introspecting. It recommends introspecting on what triggers our own emotions and how can we manage them. Beware that "manage" does not mean suppression, but rather introspection.
For e.g: When we are deeply desirous of a particular goal, we tend to be lopsided. For the desire of reaching the pinnacle of our career, we might de-prioritize our personal life, and lose out on the most important phases of our own life and others. At the same time being attached to our personal life and kin, can be stifling. This is where the awareness and introspection as prescribed by spiritual texts come in handy. Realize the fact that what transpires now is just a passing phase of your soul and it is wasteful to expend our time and energy fondling the emotions of this phase.
This is the mantra of emotional intelligence as construed by Hindu scriptures

Saturday 24 March 2012

What gets in the way of our judgment?

 Impeccable judgment has been hailed as what differentiates an effective person from others, be it in personal life or professional life. Successful leaders have historically been those who have taken the right decision at the right time, guided by their judgment. Hence I will delineate what what gets in the way of good judgment, and how we can avoid falling prey to it.
 How do we generally judge a situation or person? We go by our past experiences and prejudices. The "knowledge" that we have built over the years. If we are too entrenched in our notions, if we are puffed up with the pride of the so called knowledge and experience, we will quite often fail to be objective in our judgment. For e.g., when embarking on a new initiative / project, we are expected to evaluate the pros, cons and risks involved. It is quite humane then to lean on our past experience to evaluate the initiative. But if we obstinately stick to only our biases and experiences, we are likely to fail seeing the possible new avenues that lie ahead of us. While it is prudent to learn from our past mistakes and experiences, it is also sagacious to open up our ears and mind to current situation, to other opinions which might be quite contradictory to ours, to diverse perspectives, in order to take advantage of the new opportunities ahead of us.
 Good judgment comes from not getting cocooned in our familiar patterns and prejudices. If we are attached to our self i.e. ego, if we are attached to our intelligence and perspectives, if we are attached to a certain thought or person, we are prone to make bad judgments. Attachment blinds our rational mind. That is what our scriptures teach us, to be detached. If we lead a spiritual life, being detached from person or situation, we are better equipped to make those important judgments and decisions in our life.

Sunday 11 March 2012

Compassion - How can it be cultivated ?

Compassion is one of the characteristics that is unique to us homo sapiens, yet we don't exhibit it all that often. In my opinion, compassion is the hallmark of a good human, a good leader. In many of my earlier posts I have dwelt on empathy and genuine interest, which underpins effective communication, influence and all those other traits of an effective person. But compassion is fundamental to empathy and genuine interest. Not surprisingly, Hindu scriptures place compassion right at the center of spirituality. How compassionate are we? And are there a set of people with whom we are compassionate and those with whom we are not? Do prejudices play their part? Can we cultivate compassion that is bereft of prejudice and ulterior motive. The answer is an emphatic YES.
 Indian scriptures and Bodhisattva lay emphasis on the cycle of births. We are believed to be going through a cycle of rebirths based on our Karmic actions (negative and positive) in our past births. The more good we do in this birth, the better fortunate would we be in our next birth. In each birth, we need to perform good actions, for the benefit of others without any expectation for oneself. In this whole churn of cycles of birth and rebirth, the ones who are our friends, our parents in this birth, might have been our foes in our past birth. And those who are our foes in this birth might have been our near and dear ones, our well wishers in the past births. So then, would it be prudent to be compassionate with our near and dear ones in this birth and disregard or ill-treat our so called foes?
 Even if you were to ignore the cycle of births, have you ever returned a bad deed with compassion? When someone is bent upon spoiling your professional progress for example, instead of confronting that person head-on, have you tried to be compassionate with that person? Have you tried to analyze why this person might want to thwart your progress, and how you can help this person? If you were to reach out to this person, and probably help with this person's progress, would you not end up winning another friend instead of a foe? Would not this person hold you in high regard and consider you a leader as opposed to an adversary? Organizations are always in need of this kind of a leader. And even in your personal life, instead of returning a bad deed with another one, if you were to return with a good deed out of compassion, you would have more friends rather than foes, and that in itself would go a long way in restoring peace and sanity in our life.

Saturday 3 March 2012

All Work and No Play makes Jack a Dull boy

 This is an age old adage that we are all familiar with. Even the Hindu scriptures advocate this in principle. The Bhagawad Gita instructs human beings to neither fondle nor neglect their body, for both can lead to adversity. It is believed that all our organs (sense organs etc.) and the mind must work in co-ordination for effectiveness. Our sense organs are tempted into material needs like food, attire etc. If the mind is not in check, if the mind cannot control these cravings, our body succumbs to the materialistic desires.
 Let us for a moment consider an example of our craving for fame. If our mind gives in to the craving, we end up over exerting and tormenting ourselves. This in turn disrupts the chemical composition of our body like glucose, and in the long term it would affect our health (many of our disease are believed to be emanating from stress). The disease in turn would leave our mind pre-occupied with fear, precluding us from focusing on the larger purpose of life. It would also restrict our physical activity owing to the nature of the disease (depending on how debilitating the disease is ).
 Hence the Bhagawad Gita endorses the importance of disciplining the mind and the body. Yoga, meditation etc. have proved to restore the balance of energy in our body, and help maintain good health. This combined with the training of mind , to not give in to material desires, by being detached, helps in holistic well being. The mind by being detached, restrains our sense organs, and ensures that we do not indulge in debilitating activities. When the mind and the body are sound, when we are not over whelmed by fear or handicaps of any kind, we are better equipped to be effective.

 I would therefore recommend that each of us take up an activity, Yoga, sport anything that helps us maintain a sense of physical well being, in addition to practicing spiritual principles (detachment etc.), to lead an effective life.

Saturday 25 February 2012

Patience - Quintessence of Effectiveness

 Every once in a while we get agitated. Agitated with our personal life, professional life, our identity, our status quo ... Even though we might realize that agitation is futile, we might find it hard to wrench free from its grip. On self introspection, we would realize that agitation is the result of impatience. There are shortcuts to achieving any of our goals. For e.g.:, If we want to climb up the corporate ladder, we could reach by guile and chicanery. While this might seem easier and faster, having reached the summit, it will be hard to sustain. If we rather go through the grind, to reach to the top, we would have had ample time to metamorphosed as a person, that would help us reach even greater peaks. But this would take a long time, might be even a life time. At times, we might even retrograde. But this is what makes a "gem" literally.

 In fact many of my previous articles which talk about genuine interest etc. takes a lot of time and patience. Even though we might have genuine interest in a person, in a cause etc., it would be difficult to garner trust and support from everyone. People would suspect the authenticity of the cause, the ulterior motive. It takes time and patience to build trust and confidence. Without patience, it would be easy to get agitated and lose heart.

 How then to remain patient. The solution as you might have already guessed by now, is in reiterating the spiritual principle of life - letting go. Attachment breeds impatience. The more we are attached, the more we want to expedite the end result. Expediting might often push us into making the wrong moves, and retrograde. Let us not be attached to our results, goals, identity etc. Let us put our best foot forward, and let the results take its natural course. Then we expend our energy only on doing our job well, and relieve ourselves of the baggage of accomplishment. If not anything else, it arrests impatience and agitation.

What do you say?

Thursday 16 February 2012

Negative criticism

 In our lifetime, we receive negative criticism a whole lot more than positive feedback. In my opinion, criticism is the catalyst of human evolution. It serves to weed out those characteristics in the human ecosystem which are not conducive to evolution of higher capabilities of the species. Despite the fruits that it bears, the one at the receiving end hardly finds it palatable. Where lies the problem? Is it because of the nature of the receiver or that of the deliverer ?
 Scouring the annals of my mind, the typical pattern that strikes me first is, that the person criticizing with negative feedback, definitely intends to make his disapproval known. And the one receiving the flak gets defensive and feels cornered. So there is the conspicuous negative intonation to it.
 Is it then possible to give a positive twist to it and is it worth the while? These are the questions that I will unravel in this post, with spiritual leanings of course.
 When I started , I used "criticism" and "catalyst of human evolution" in the same breath. So you have all the reason to believe that I am inclined to consider it positive. You are right. Right from the time our cognitive skills kicked in, we have been goaded with smiles and grunts, we have been praised and reprimanded for the right / acceptable and the wrong. Without negative criticism there would be no agreement on what constitutes a civilized society. Hence I am convinced that it is worthwhile exploring the possibility of meting out negative criticism with positive intonation ! This is where my spiritual leanings come to play.
 It is both for the receiver and the deliverer to view it from the lens of spirituality. It is important to let go the sense of ego and understand that it is not humane to be right all the time, and appreciate that all souls are equal, no one is above another, and that every one's view needs to be respected. This will help the receiver open up his mind and see the kernel from the chaff. And will help the one meting out the criticism to provide objective / constructive feedback which will help evolve the individual. This is a definite win-win !

What are your thoughts?

Saturday 11 February 2012

Honing influential skills

 This is a topic that is relevant both to our professional and personal life. In the corporate world, people are often times measured on the level / impact of influence they have / can create. And in our personal life, we are trying to influence our spouse, friends, kids all the time. How can one effectively influence others ? In my early days I have read books on how to improve your negotiating skills and have tried implementing too.
 To my mind, trying to influence others can in a way be viewed as controlling their sense of being and their sense of existence. And "control" as we all know and have experienced is a C that everyone resists. Compassion, Camaraderie and Congeniality are the 3 Cs that work. Trying to control others, or trying to change others to our bent of mind is a faux pas. The obvious solution is then to execute the 3 Cs that bring in the positive results.
 But of late, I am beginning to wonder if consciously trying to work on the 3 Cs with an ulterior motive is manipulation in its very core. And it seems to be conflicting with my spiritual notions and principles of life.
 In my personal life, I have tried to "let go" the desire or want to influence others. And I must admit that, I feel liberated. Because, all along, in the process of influencing others, and trying to be very like-able , agree-able etc. (the 3 Cs), I was not being myself. I was manipulating and in the processing manipulating myself and loosing my identity. I was able to "liberate" myself from the clutches of manipulation , by simply following the lucid principles of spirituality , that I have dealt with in many of my previous posts.
 Would be interesting to discuss others' perspective on this and what they have adopted in their personal and professional life. And what with the confluence of spirituality and metaphysics? The notion that mind, thought etc. are matter and particles which can be influenced and controlled by our will. Would it be spiritually ethical to control the outcome of others (people, systems etc.) to our benefit?

Saturday 4 February 2012

How to cope with a person you hate?

 It is more than likely that in the course of our life, we will come upon people / person we hate, and worse, might even have to spend ample time with them. What then is the recourse?
 To arrive at that, it is first important to investigate reasons for hating a person. From my experience, the reason we hate someone is because that person might be threatening our "ego". What is ego by the way? One of the meanings available in the dictionary is "The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves." Ego typically has a negative connotation, but the verbatim meaning from dictionary seems quite innocuous . It might not be immediately obvious as to why "ego" is considered evil. But on closer observation, you will find that, when you consider yourself "distinct" from the world and other selves, you begin to expect a life that is superior to others. You want to distinguish your self by having superior patronage, clout, name, fame, money, love, affection etc. And so when a person threatens / subjugates your distinct self (i.e. your ego), it hurts, and you will want to hurl this person out of your life. You will start hating this person.
 So much for the meaning of ego. But how to escape from the predicament of having to deal with such a person? The solution is then to turn it on its head. Do not consider yourself "distinct". The "cosmic consciousness" is the idea that the universe exists as an interconnected network of consciousness, with each conscious being linked to every other. By this definition, we are all one and the same. There is no distinct self. Why then should we hanker after distinction? The moment you realize this, you will stop hating someone. For e.g. , consider for a moment that you hate your colleague, because the person is not massaging your ego, or worse threatening to destroy your ego (i.e. superior patronage, fame, name etc.). But what if you do not consider yourself distinct, and what if you do not feel the need to get superior patronage or fame. Would you still hate this person? The answer will be a definite NO. This is one of the important lessons from our scriptures. The soul and consciousness transcends the physical form, knowing that, do not hurt or harm others, do not consider one superior to the other, and bliss is assured.

Friday 27 January 2012

Secret of Happiness

 The secret of happiness eludes everyone. We are fooled into thinking that being success / achievement will bring us happiness, only to realize that after reaching our goal, we are yet again set on to achieve something else that will make us "happier". What then is the path to happiness?

 In my opinion, one need not wander far and wide. It is all in the mind. Often, we are not aligned with our inner self, our true desire and our real sense of purpose in life. This is the reason why, even though we reach the so called pinnacle of our life, we remain unhappy. Most of the time, we set goals out of peer pressure, to gain approval of the society, instead of setting goals that appease our true self and desire.

 To attain true happiness, it is then imperative that we spend some time searching our conscious and sub-conscious mind, for our true self. How does one identify ?

 In my case, I looked back to identify things that I did not do for the sake of adulation / eulogy, but just out of passion. I then looked back to identify those skills that come naturally to me. It dawned on me that the trick is in marrying these two, to be able to leverage skills that came naturally to me, in fields that I am passionate about.

It might just be possible that none of what we do in our daily life aligns with our true self. We have to then start aligning our hobbies to our true self. This is a perfect example of Pareto law unfolding. Spending 20% of our time doing things that are aligned to our true self, would bring us happiness.

 The other realization that has been pivotal to my sense of happiness is detachment - detachment from worldly possession like name, fame and power, which is the quint essence of spirituality.  The more you get these worldly possessions, the more you want it, and you get sucked into this vicious cycle of unhappiness. Worldly possessions are those which are not entirely in our control. We cannot control the thoughts and actions of others, but we can control our thoughts and actions for our happiness. The solution lies in being contented and happy with what has been ordained, and living a life with purpose, aligned with your true inner self.

What have your experiences been?

Friday 20 January 2012

Start 'em Young Raise 'em Right

I am a big fan of the quote that's the title. Many times I wonder how I can drive in the principles taught in our scriptures to my kid, a pre-schooler. How do I make it simple and relevant to her age? Reading out fables and anecdotes from scriptures is definitely one way. But if I want her to start putting it into practice, how do I get her initiated?
 I started out by looking at some of the common problems that she has , and realized that it is not very different from what we face as adults ! One of the biggest problems that kids her age seem to be facing, is that changing loyalties among friends, peer pressure and factions. On deeper probing, I find that it is the same "attachment to ego" that we face as adults. We want our ego to massaged by external approval, appreciation, adulation and even sub-ordination. When our ego is not boosted, we submit ourselves to primal instincts like anger, hatred, jealousy. Sensing that this is a canker that must be nipped in the bud, I set out to create stories around the problem of being attached to ego. But for a preschooler ! How could I pull that? This has been an experimental learning for me. I create stories around how other friends would not want to play with her, if she always wants to get it her way, how she needs to be sensitive to the interests of other kids', and the joy that she would get out of playing and being together with other kids, just by letting go her self indulgence. Going by the recent anointment as a "helpful and friendly child" by her teacher, I am presuming this has worked.
 Though in times of fight or flight, I wonder whether it will be the primal instincts that will take over.

 Any thoughts or experiments with teaching Spiritual principles to the young?

Friday 13 January 2012

How to create good presentations?

 There are many tips and tricks of trade that has been taught to people in the corporate world, for creating a "great" presentation. I am happy if we gave "good" presentation rather. Why "good" and not "great" must be a question that you might have in mind....

 Well ... what is the objective of presenting? To put across our point of view and rally people around our "Point of View". Do you think people will rally around you just because you have fancy animations and pictures in your presentation? Or talking at length about it?

The answer is NO. It is much like having a conversation, except that a presentation could be for a larger audience with common or related interests. For others to be able to support you, your first intention must be to have a win-win situation.

What good can you do to others by this "Point of View"? How will it benefit others? Put others' interests before yours. These are what our scriptures have taught us as "golden rules" or "principles" of life. If one sticks to these, we would naturally create a riveting presentation which has the "goodness" in it. And that is what I meant when I said I would rather create a "good" presentation than a "great" presentation.

 In my own presentations I try to stick to 3 ways in which my "Point of View" can benefit the audience. If I can't identify the "goodness" factor, I open up the session to get views on how the audience thinks it can benefit or would like to see. That way even if I don't have the answers, we get to agree on a cause / action, which in essence , is the whole purpose of "presentation".

The conflicts, obscurity and all of it is taken care, when there is "goodness" for everyone. In my opinion, people generally don't agree or don't understand when they don't see the "goodness" factor.

Any thoughts or experiences that you would like to share?
 

Friday 6 January 2012

Meditation - Way to Personal Effectiveness

Meditation is known to be beneficial to health and mind. To be able to fully benefit from meditation, it is important to understand the effects of meditation on the evolution of brain and how it influences our demeanor. Humans are gifted with the "crown" i.e. the conscious brain, which is what differentiates humans from animals. And it is only natural that only by firing this crown can we rejoice in true glory.
 The conscious brain gives us the free will to choose the right from wrong, focus, observe, invent etc. The more we flex the conscious brain, the better we are able to focus, observe our own patterns, eliminate bad patterns, and chalk out our life. The most important for all of this is focus and attention. The conscious brain is prone to distractions and we need to "train our thoughts" to shut out the distractions. This is where meditation helps. Meditation helps us to train our mind to focus. The better we get at it, the better we are able to focus on our personal traits and resolve to change for the better.
 To put it simply, mediate to train your mind to focus and pay attention to your self deprecating patterns and eliminate them.What makes us an individual is our repeating behavior patterns, and personal effectiveness is nothing but pruning and taming our behavior patterns.
Anyone has any personal experiences from meditation? I have personally experienced a distinct sense of calm and composure after meditation, which equips me with the fortitude to embrace a challenging situation. It helps me take objective decisions rather than be carried away by subjective emotions, which in essence is the "glory" of being a human.
Look forward to thoughts and views on this.